Poetry

7th Grade Thoughts – [85/365]

Young Me by Kori | Written 3/29/17

Past.

Old internet.

Remember?

Before Facebook?

When machines didn’t rule and our hearts were pure?


Inspiration. Let me know what you thought of the poem! You can find me lurking here:

Twitter TumblrPinterestBloglovin’

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. 

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “7th Grade Thoughts – [85/365]

  1. Past. ……………………………………………………………………… ✓ 1 syllable
    Old internet. ……………………………………………………………. x 4 syllables, should be 2
    Remember?……………………………………………………………. ✓ 3 syllables
    Before Facebook? ………………………………………………….. ✓ 4 syllables
    When machines didn’t rule and our hearts were pure?…. x 12 syllables, should be 10

    A compromise plus a reversed addition

    Past. ……………………………………………………………………… 1 ✓
    Old web. ………………………………………………………………… 2 ✓
    Remember?……………………………………………………………. 3 ✓
    Before Facebook? …………………………………………………… 4 ✓
    Pure hearts, when machines did not rule some lives! …. 10 ✓
    Now Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn too! ……………………….. 10
    Controlling all. …………………………………………………………. 4
    Abuse used! …………………………………………………………… 3
    Now so ………………………………………………………………….. 2
    Sad………………………………………………………………………… 1

    Absolutely, categorically, no disrespect intended.
    For a first attempt, well done, mind you not a topic it I would of chosen. My only suggestion is to stick to the letter of the format, it can be difficult, and I suppose that sometimes that will be down the chosen subject. Hope to see/read another one. Leaving you with a link to a syllable counter just in case, keep at it,

    Mick

    Like

      1. Thank you,
        However, on the question of following rules, or not, that’s our choice. The way I look at bending rules re poetry is, as in this instance when you have had a go at writing a Tetractys and broke them, then it becomes what is known as a shaped poem, in your case a form of triangle. Now had your poem been on the subject of a triangle, keeping the shape of course, then it would be given the name of, ‘Concrete poem’, all to do with rules and formats. Have you seen/read my, Concrete poem, a link https://mickhispoetry.wordpress.com/2017/03/19/inspired-exclamation/
        The point I am putting across is if you write a poem, say a Haiku, then it has to conform to the guidelines, if not then it is not one. Okay I am only trying to help, but at the end of the day your right, we make own decisions. Take care,
        Mick

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s