I was on YouTube watching a vlog from Domo & Crissy, the channel centers around the life of two women that are engaged, and expecting a baby. In this vlog Domo talks about her pregnancy and the recent hate she has received on social media for a picture she posted showing off her baby bump. Domo received a lot of hate because she is a lesbian that doesn’t dress feminine enough to certain people’s standards. I won’t divulge too much about the vlog, you can watch it here.
I understood where Domo was coming from as I was watching this. Society loves to put people in a box and tell them how they should live. Domo has the right to dress how she wants, have her hair styled the way she wants, and love who she wants to love. This made me think of my feelings with society and the labels they try to enforce on people.
I refuse to pick a label for my sexuality. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business, I am not “confused” or “questioning” I just don’t feel the need to stuff myself in a box. For those who have read my previous posts know that I have been with both men and women. I knew when I was 12 years old that I liked females, I kept it to myself though I was already an outcast, and didn’t want to draw attention to myself. When I was 16 I labeled myself as bisexual.
I regretted coming out as a bisexual because:
- There is a lot of hate on bisexuals often saying that they are “confused” or “in a phase”
- There’s a misconception that bisexual’s are sluts who are truly afraid to come out of the closet.
- There’s a misconception that a bisexual will eventually betray you with the opposite sex.
- I had an ex friend who is a lesbian tell me that bisexual women carry more STD’s which is why she never slept with them.
- My boyfriend Lee thought that by me being bisexual was a green light on bringing up threesomes when we never had sex.
If you look at the television shows that air, bisexuals are never seen or they have some serious issues. Here are some examples:
- Callie Torres from Grey’s Anatomy – She can be a bit ruthless. Dated men and women. Was married to a man and then to a woman.
- Willow Rosenberg from BTVS – Went through a magic addiction. Clearly bisexual, she loved Xander for years, dated Oz for two years, was with Tara, and then Kennedy. Not sure what her orientation is in the comics.
- Karma Ashcroft from Faking It – Kind of a liar. She loved Amy yet was dating Liam because she just wanted to be normal. Never stated but heavily implied that Karma was bisexual.
- Paige Michalchuk from Degrassi – The mean girl of Degrassi. Dated a lot of dudes, was in love with her friend Alex, and they dated.
- Ashley Davies from South Of Nowhere – Had a bad reputation. Dated men and women.
When I moved to Florida I was dating a guy for a while who knew that I liked women but because I didn’t label myself he never brought it up. That’s when I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to label myself and I as got older I have stood by that conviction. I could fall in love with anybody gender, race, orientation really doesn’t matter to me, and therefore I refuse to label myself. Society has done enough damage shoving people into boxes that they can’t fit in and expecting men and women to act a certain way.
So how do you feel about labels? Do you agree with my stance on not labeling or do you think labels are a good thing? I mean if you want to label yourself then that’s fine, just don’t try to label me.
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