I am not ready for 2017. I don’t think I was even ready for 2016. I am having all these thoughts on my brain and I can’t even sleep. I am exhausted but I have too many thoughts. Here we go:
1. I am in a wee bit of debt.
2. I want to get out of debt, but I am afraid to get out of debt because my mother will ask me for money, and if I say no she threatens to throw me out.
3. My mother is a fucking leach like doesn’t respect me at all.
4. I signed another lease for a car and now I feel trapped here for three years.
5. I have to move out in three years.
6. Living here is so damn depressing I feel trapped.
7. I am 23 years old yet I am treated like I am 12.
8. I work and live with my mother. Need I fucking say more?
9. In 2011 I was 18, if I could go back in time and tell my former self to just stay in Orlando.
10. I am not looking forward to 2017 all I see is more drama.
11. I think my mother just wants to keep her hooks in me forever and wants me to rot with her.
12. Writing all this makes me depressed and it makes me think I have nothing to look forward to in the future.
13. I can’t talk to my mother about my anxiety because she thinks its “fake” I should be happy all the time and have no emotion.
14. My great grandfather is on his deathbed, he’s 92.
15. My great uncle had a stroke and his entire left side is paralyzed.
16. It’s like 5 am and I should be sleeping.
I hope everyone has a happy new year. My anxiety is horrible especially when I have no sleep. How are you guys doing today?