If there is one thing I hate about entering the world of adulthood is how complicated things become. I completely took for granted all the days where things were simple. I was allowed to say when something was wrong or right, and now as an adult sometimes shutting up is best.
My aunt really pissed me off and I refuse to go to her house for Thanksgiving. Every time there is a holiday she says, “What are you getting my kids cause you work?” The tone she uses too is nasty and I don’t see her kids getting my gifts. One family typically means one gift. This year she said, “What are you bringing?” It really makes me feel like crap when she does that. What is her sister in law bringing? What is her brother in law bringing? Absolutely nothing, yet I get singled out. So this year I will be spending Thanksgiving alone. Even though I am strapped for cash I am contemplating taking a road trip anywhere that is not Long Island. Although I wanted to curse her out, I am the bigger person and I am staying silent. I also am being extremely petty by not going to her house but I honestly do not care.
I feel like my blogging as been inadequate and I apologize for that. Work is keeping me busy, school is keeping me busy, and you know the typical general insanity (my anxiety folks). Another thing about being an adult is the actual adulting part. I wish I had a billionaire boyfriend, maybe money would bring me sanity?
Regardless of all the crazy, I feel that I am stuck in like a standstill. All I do is work. I know there are people out there who take charge of their lives, force things to happen, and I know for a fact that I am not one of those types of people. I am just letting the wind blow me in which ever direction and I am sitting along mindlessly.
Taking that little step is hard. There are so many things I want to do but I fear failure and defeat. Also, I have a knack for starting things and not finishing. When it comes down to making a decision of two things I make a third option called, “nah” and decide not to do anything at all.
The title of this blog post is a bit misleading, I was going to talk about the new friend I made and an old friend I lost, but in all honesty I don’t think the person deserves an entire blog post dedicated to them, even if they were being an asshole.
Any tips for me to get out of this weird funk? I am not necessarily sad but I am far from happy.