Ramblings

Good Riddance

If there is one thing I hate about entering the world of adulthood is how complicated things become. I completely took for granted all the days where things were simple. I was allowed to say when something was wrong or right, and now as an adult sometimes shutting up is best.
My aunt really pissed me off and I refuse to go to her house for Thanksgiving. Every time there is a holiday she says, “What are you getting my kids cause you work?” The tone she uses too is nasty and I don’t see her kids getting my gifts. One family typically means one gift. This year she said, “What are you bringing?” It really makes me feel like crap when she does that. What is her sister in law bringing? What is her brother in law bringing? Absolutely nothing, yet I get singled out. So this year I will be spending Thanksgiving alone. Even though I am strapped for cash I am contemplating taking a road trip anywhere that is not Long Island. Although I wanted to curse her out, I am the bigger person and I am staying silent. I also am being extremely petty by not going to her house but I honestly do not care.
tumblr_nhfhr2vz5y1r84h3xo1_1280
I feel like my blogging as been inadequate and I apologize for that. Work is keeping me busy, school is keeping me busy, and you know the typical general insanity (my anxiety folks). Another thing about being an adult is the actual adulting part. I wish I had a billionaire boyfriend, maybe money would bring me sanity?

Regardless of all the crazy, I feel that I am stuck in like a standstill. All I do is work. I know there are people out there who take charge of their lives, force things to happen, and I know for a fact that I am not one of those types of people. I am just letting the wind blow me in which ever direction and I am sitting along mindlessly.

Taking that little step is hard. There are so many things I want to do but I fear failure and defeat. Also, I have a knack for starting things and not finishing. When it comes down to making a decision of two things I make a third option called, “nah” and decide not to do anything at all.

The title of this blog post is a bit misleading, I was going to talk about the new friend I made and an old friend I lost, but in all honesty I don’t think the  person deserves an entire blog post dedicated to them, even if they were being an asshole.

tumblr_oesdvg32cv1v8ungdo1_500h

Any tips for me to get out of this weird funk? I am not necessarily sad but I am far from happy.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Good Riddance

  1. First of all, I don’t think you’re pretty by not going to your aunt’s house. I think she was stepping way out of line by being so pushy and demanding. Now as for the standstill you’re experiencing…I’m not sure what it is that you’re afraid of doing so I’m going to speak in a general sense here. Change rarely comes easy. It’s difficult, complicated, and downright frightening. Often times, you’ll find yourself wondering why the heck you pursued it in the first place. And, honestly, you can’t handle it upfront. Unless your confidence levels are like 300% and you’re a driven entrepreneur or something. But I’m assuming you’re not! The point is you kind of just have to take the first step and not think about the rest of the path because it will overwhelm you. You have to take things little by little. I remember one of the most important things I learned in high school senior year was that adulthood can be managed. Seriously. You can use spreadsheets to manage finances, planners to manage your life, and all that. You just have to get started. And if you stick around at the starting line doubting yourself and the process, who knows how long you’ll stay? When I decided to start this blog, I spent a couple hours designing it. Then I wrote my first and second blog posts. I jumped straight into the blogosphere so that I couldn’t look back. I hope that helps! Let me know if it does/doesn’t!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes you have no idea. I am getting a lot of slack for not going to Thanksgiving. I don’t see the problem of me not going though, my family treats me like a punching bag anyway so I don’t see the point of sitting through that torture of being ridiculed for my weight, comments about school, and a bunch of other things. I guess I just want to do something with my life other than work and or school, I feel like life is passing me by. I use a spreadsheet to manage my finances but eh I am never able to stick with planners. I should download a planner app though hmmmm maybe that would help. Thank you for commenting, it made me smile on this dull day.

      Like

      1. I can recommend a couple planner apps to you if you’re on iOS, I’ve been cycling through them like nuts recently trying to find the one. Which I did! My only suggestion to you is to find a hobby that you really enjoy. And lean on that when you’re winding down. If you devote your life to things you find meaningful, then it doesn’t feel like life is passing you by. It’s when you’re just existing that you miss out. Yeah I know how sometimes family members can be a little more demanding than loving. It happens.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s