Adulting: Am I Doing It Right?

My frenemy that I went to middle school with is getting married in two months. She graduated from college and is currently in grad school. The guy she is marrying is about 10+ years older than her with a kid or two I think. My co worker commented that, “She really has her shit together.” That comment triggered a lot of questions.

I am 23 years old I work full time & go to college full time. I have my own car and well that’s pretty much it. Does that qualify as me having my shit together? Am I not adulting properly?

I look at some of my other friends who don’t live at home and / or are in relationships and wonder if that what it means to have your life together? Then I also look at my friends who don’t work and / or smoke a lot of pot. Does that mean they don’t have their life together? My slacker friends seem 10x happier than my friends who are working and not living at home.

When I compare myself to my peers who have their bachelors and don’t live at home I sometimes feel inadequate. Then I have peers who do nothing all day but lay around and smoke weed and it makes me feel like I’m doing something with my life.

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My biological father is in his 40’s and hasn’t had steady work since he was in his 20’s I feel that when you’re in your 20’s that’s when you get your hustle on. I don’t want to be in my 30’s and still struggling. I know that’s a far fetched dream because everyone struggles but I think its a normal thing to want.

Looking through Facebook pages of the people I went to high school with definitely had me feeling insecure about where I am in life. Also, with Gary passing it made me think about how anything could happen, and if I were to die tomorrow I would really feel as if I didn’t do much. This one girl I know has severe depression and yet she just put down 25% on a new condo. Does having anxiety / mental illness hinder me from feeling inadequate? Is it holding me back from my full potential. I just started taking my medication again and I know it’s going to take at least a month for it to really kick in. But I digress.

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What are your thoughts on adulting? Do you see yourself as having your shit together?

11 thoughts on “Adulting: Am I Doing It Right?”

  1. First of all, Kori, I don’t think there’s any way to properly adult. Second of all, you absolutely have your shit together. You’re sustaining yourself on your income (and you’re choosing to pursue further education.) Relationships and all that other adulty stuff comes with time. Time that you decide. You’ll be ready if and when you’re ready. Don’t worry about where other folks are! 😊 People my age get engaged, hold jobs, buy cars, and move out of their parent’s houses. I started a blog. I feel no need to rush myself into any of those other things.

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  3. Outside looking in, I appear to have the adulting thing down: have my bachelor’s, working for the state full-time, living in a townhouse with my boyfriend and our 2 dogs and a bunny… But I’m very much still a child. Bad things kept happening last week with my car and instead of calling my insurance to ask questions, I called mommy and daddy. I see friends on facebook with children and my thought is: HELL NO! I could not see myself having kids right now.

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  4. There is _no_ right way! If there was, there would be a manual 😛
    The only way you can say you’re adulting the right way is if you’re happy or if you’re working to make yourself happy. Everyone’s view of this ‘state’ is so vastly different that it’s impossible to do it “right”.
    I’m 23 too, I dropped out of uni at 20, went from temp job to temp job and never thought I’d be settled in any way. But now I’m finally in my own flat, sustaining myself and a manager in a great firm and it’s all *okay* – but there are still loads of things I want to do and go (for example, I don’t drive) – so I’m not 100%.
    If you constantly compare yourself to others not only will you never be happy with what you’ve got, but you’ll probably make yourself insane.
    Do you the best way you can and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing – especially because you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors.
    Hope you’re okay! 🙂 xx

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  6. I just turned 30 and I don’t have my shit together. Not to scare you, I’m just saying there isn’t one set way to live your life. You do it your way, others do it their way, there’s no harm in that, so don’t worry.
    Also, I’ve also done some facebook digging in the past, and I also thought I was doing much worse than all my ex-classmates. Turned out most of them were making their lives seem a lot more fun than they actually were. Ask yourself if you’d want to trade places with them. Probably not.

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  7. Spoiler alert – No-one has their shit together in their early to mid twenties.
    You don’t really start to form a realistic idea of yourself until you hit your thirties, and by then you won’t give a shit what people think of you. They can all go and eat a bag of dicks. Seriously, the whole bag….including those awkward crumbs at the bottom.
    Plus, don’t compare your life to that of others….believe me, they will look at your life on Facebook and be feeling the same pangs of jealousy or inadequacy you feel when looking at theirs.
    Christmas is coming and the overwhelming urge these people will have to buy (and send) you a bag of dicks will be overwhelming. As my wife always says: “Do you, boo boo”.

    It’s your life.

    Fuck everyone else.

    Am I right? Am I right?
    (Holds up hand for a high five)
    (Doesn’t get it)
    (Puts hand down sheepishly)

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