My frenemy that I went to middle school with is getting married in two months. She graduated from college and is currently in grad school. The guy she is marrying is about 10+ years older than her with a kid or two I think. My co worker commented that, “She really has her shit together.” That comment triggered a lot of questions.

I am 23 years old I work full time & go to college full time. I have my own car and well that’s pretty much it. Does that qualify as me having my shit together? Am I not adulting properly?

I look at some of my other friends who don’t live at home and / or are in relationships and wonder if that what it means to have your life together? Then I also look at my friends who don’t work and / or smoke a lot of pot. Does that mean they don’t have their life together? My slacker friends seem 10x happier than my friends who are working and not living at home.

When I compare myself to my peers who have their bachelors and don’t live at home I sometimes feel inadequate. Then I have peers who do nothing all day but lay around and smoke weed and it makes me feel like I’m doing something with my life.


My biological father is in his 40’s and hasn’t had steady work since he was in his 20’s I feel that when you’re in your 20’s that’s when you get your hustle on. I don’t want to be in my 30’s and still struggling. I know that’s a far fetched dream because everyone struggles but I think its a normal thing to want.

Looking through Facebook pages of the people I went to high school with definitely had me feeling insecure about where I am in life. Also, with Gary passing it made me think about how anything could happen, and if I were to die tomorrow I would really feel as if I didn’t do much. This one girl I know has severe depression and yet she just put down 25% on a new condo. Does having anxiety / mental illness hinder me from feeling inadequate? Is it holding me back from my full potential. I just started taking my medication again and I know it’s going to take at least a month for it to really kick in. But I digress.


What are your thoughts on adulting? Do you see yourself as having your shit together?