When Telling Them You’re Not Interested Isn’t Enough

I mentioned in a previous post that Cutie Pie had pissed me off. He messaged me via the class email asking me if I wanted to go out for dinner. Now, normally I wouldn’t be upset but the winky faces and the constant messages that happened after I said no, pissed me off. No means exactly that No. I don’t owe anybody including him an explanation. So, when he messaged me eight more times wanting an explanation I told him off. Basically stating, “I don’t owe you an explanation. Do not pester me.”

He wanted to know why I was saying no, if I had plans, if I had a date, if I was really single, and a bunch more of things that were none of his business. If he was single and or if he said “Dinner with me and my fiance” I would have said yes. But it was alone with him only and the winky faces threw me off.

This past Tuesday when I saw him in class (his smile is so radiant), he bought me my favorite energy drink, and on a sticky note he wrote sorry. We didn’t talk during class unless it was about the assignments we were doing. Even though he’s cute, he’s in a relationship, and that’s a line you don’t cross.

Anywho, here is my list!

Let them know when the friend line is being crossed.

Seriously, tell the other person to back the fuck off. Being nice to someone doesn’t mean they owe you anything, its so fucking mind boggling dealing with the stupidity. Stay in your lane and do not cross any lines. Say it with me! BOUNDARIES.

Don’t go on “dates” with them.

No breakfast, lunch, dinner, or anything where you two are alone. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I have friends that are the opposite sex this makes no sense, blah blah.” If this person has feelings for you and you know it, then hanging out alone probably isn’t a good idea. I had a male friend tell me out the blue, “You know how hard it is for me not to kiss you right now,” he had a girlfriend and they’ve been together for two years. We no longer speak.

Hands off! Do not touch each other all intimate.

No knee rubs, or butt massages, or intense cuddling. Keep the touching at a PG level. Actually, no. Keep it at a G level.

Do not reply to their text message instantly.

Take a while to respond, it shows disinterest, and maybe they will stop getting in their feelings. I am a horrible texter as it is, I can respond in 5 seconds or 5 hours. There is no in between with me.

Keep your excitement level at a -1 when you see them.

Don’t feed into the bullshit by boosting the ego of a person who wants more. When you see him/her don’t get overly excited.


Hope you guys enjoy my little list. Let me know what you think, also let me know if I am overthinking this thing with Jacob/Cutie Pie. One of my friends thinks that I am but I think he crossed the line.


11 thoughts on “When Telling Them You’re Not Interested Isn’t Enough

  1. You’re making this way too hard. Just tell him, “I’d LOVE to get together. It’s been so hard to find people to hang with outside of my herpes recovery group. I mean, they’re nice people and all, but….”


  2. Yeah the friend zone is the most absurd concept ever created by men hungry for sex. Ever notice how a woman has NEVER complained of being “friend zoned?” Anywho you’re very polite about telling men you’re not interested. I wouldn’t be remotely as kind. Frankly, my “no” would probably encompass me punching them in the face and swearing their ass off. I have a lot of inner rage 😊


    1. It’s polite to keep the friendship going. I’ve done men some really harsh things to get it through their head I wasn’t interested. I told this one guy, “remember when you were suicidal? Yeah you should have just fucking killed yourself at that point if you ever thought you and I were meant to be” I can be really harsh or really polite. There is no in between. I don’t have an in between.


      1. Oh that is harsh, I’m not sure if I’d ever say that. I agree! There is no in between! I’m not sure if there’s an in between for anything honestly…


      2. Good for you! I’m trying to work on my irritability because I’m the most irritable person I know and it’s getting kind of tiring always being annoyed.


  3. The guy is getting married and asks you out. Not that there’s anything wrong with you, but there’s definitely something wrong with him. I think you did right by turning him down. And if he can’t understand WHY all by himself, he’s not even worth the explanation.
    And why keep on trying…? That’s so lame and a real turn off. As you said: no means no.


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