I am not good with promises which is why I do not make promises to people. The only promises I make are to myself and I end up breaking those. So, with today’s prompt being Promises I thought it would be cool to list all the lies I tell myself.

This will be my last cigarette

I don’t know how many times I promise myself that the cigarette I am smoking will be my last. I truly need to quit but it’s a hard habit to knock. I’ll quit smoking for months then jump back in it then quit again… it’s a never ending cycle. Currently the last cigarette I’ll smoke is today during my lunch break. Then for the next 3 day’s I’ll have a little nicotine monster in my brain telling me to smoke.

I won’t spend money on unnecessary items

Every month I always say this is the month where I do no extra spending. So far in October I bought some merchandise from the Carmilla webshow and I do not regret it one bit. When I am stressed I do 3 things:

  • Eat
  • Smoke
  • Shop

Since I am paying for school out of pocket I am usually strapped with cash till November. But I still find a way to spend money.

I won’t eat out

My mom rarely cooks dinner and nobody is allowed to use the kitchen so I end up eating at restaurants. I always say I am not going to eat out yet I spend almost $100 a month eating at a restaurant. I am so bad with money I swear.

I’ll find another job

I despise my work place and every month I promise myself that I will do some diligent searching for a new job. I do the search fine, but after the interview processes I tend to make excuses on why my current job is better. 75% of the time it has to do with salary and 25% of the time it has to do with convenience. I work only 20 minutes away from my house and I get paid pretty good. However, that job is affecting my mental health due to the workload and my idiot boss.

I’ll go back on my anxiety medication

Every day I say I am going to make an appointment and promise myself that I will tell the doctor I wish to be on my medication. But due to embarrassment, shame, and  well anxiousness I don’t want to. I know I need something to battle the anxiety and maybe it will help. My doctor talked to me about it briefly but I changed the subject quick. I will visit the doctor next month possibly to ask to get on my medication, but with this new health insurance I am a bit wary of the cost.

Is there any promises you make or made that you didn’t keep? Let me know.