Promises That I Break

I am not good with promises which is why I do not make promises to people. The only promises I make are to myself and I end up breaking those. So, with today’s prompt being Promises I thought it would be cool to list all the lies I tell myself.

This will be my last cigarette

I don’t know how many times I promise myself that the cigarette I am smoking will be my last. I truly need to quit but it’s a hard habit to knock. I’ll quit smoking for months then jump back in it then quit again… it’s a never ending cycle. Currently the last cigarette I’ll smoke is today during my lunch break. Then for the next 3 day’s I’ll have a little nicotine monster in my brain telling me to smoke.

I won’t spend money on unnecessary items

Every month I always say this is the month where I do no extra spending. So far in October I bought some merchandise from the Carmilla webshow and I do not regret it one bit. When I am stressed I do 3 things:

  • Eat
  • Smoke
  • Shop

Since I am paying for school out of pocket I am usually strapped with cash till November. But I still find a way to spend money.

I won’t eat out

My mom rarely cooks dinner and nobody is allowed to use the kitchen so I end up eating at restaurants. I always say I am not going to eat out yet I spend almost $100 a month eating at a restaurant. I am so bad with money I swear.

I’ll find another job

I despise my work place and every month I promise myself that I will do some diligent searching for a new job. I do the search fine, but after the interview processes I tend to make excuses on why my current job is better. 75% of the time it has to do with salary and 25% of the time it has to do with convenience. I work only 20 minutes away from my house and I get paid pretty good. However, that job is affecting my mental health due to the workload and my idiot boss.

I’ll go back on my anxiety medication

Every day I say I am going to make an appointment and promise myself that I will tell the doctor I wish to be on my medication. But due to embarrassment, shame, and  well anxiousness I don’t want to. I know I need something to battle the anxiety and maybe it will help. My doctor talked to me about it briefly but I changed the subject quick. I will visit the doctor next month possibly to ask to get on my medication, but with this new health insurance I am a bit wary of the cost.

Is there any promises you make or made that you didn’t keep? Let me know.


8 thoughts on “Promises That I Break

  1. I see promises as sacred ground, actually, so I keep 99% of the ones I make. The only promise I have broke that I can think of is I promised a friend in middle school that I wouldn’t tell my mum (a nurse) about her drinking habits. Said friend got kicked out of high school for coming to class drunk one day and then I told my mum about her because it really disturbed me. Especially because I made HER promise not to drink too much. I guess that didn’t go over well.


  2. I completely agree with the money aspect! I promised myself I would not spend like I did last year, yet my bank account is still starving. Lol.

    It’s so hard. Concerts, eating out, clothes, and shoes are all my problem. I actually got a second job to be able to save and spend but of course my jobs this semester have been stalled by the district. Maybe it’s the world telling me to just fix my problem instead of adding another job which is stress with my school schedule.

    Next semester I have to really really save and be good with money.

    Liked by 1 person

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