Relationships

Tuesday Revelations

So I was talking to Cutie Pie on Tuesday about his girlfriend, yep Cutie Pie is cheating on his fiancé with a girl at his job, and that just made me feel sick. Sure, he’s still a hottie but I am thinking about giving him a new name… nah I’ll stick with Cutie Pie.

Anyway he asked me why I was single and I decided to tell him straight up:

  • My sexuality is like a flower blowing in the wind, one minute I am this, and the next I am that. I don’t want to label myself though.
  • I can be very picky.
  • Love is some scary shit.

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Now I have never openly said this to another person. I think I was comfortable with Cutie Pie because he told me something drastic about his personal life and I felt compelled/obligated to do the same. Then we had the following exchange.

Confessions In The Computer Lab (CITCL)

Me: “So why do men cheat?”
Cutie Pie: “I think everyone cheats men and women.”
Me: “That is true, well, why do you cheat?”
Cutie Pie: “I would stay at work late to get away from Goddess (fiance) but I hated that I felt alone, eventually Lewinksy (girlfriend) started to stay late too and one thing led to another. I was going to leave Goddess but she got pregnant.”
Me: “So you’re marrying her because she’s pregnant?
Cutie Pie: I proposed because she was pregnant but that’s not why I am marrying her.”
Me: “…Sounds fake but okay.”
Cutie Pie: *He laughs* “It’s complicated, Lewinsky and I have known each other since high school.”
Me: “That’s crazy.”

But I digress. The entire point of this blog is to point out that I realized I have been single for two years and even though I use dating apps like POF and OKc I’m not really looking and I enjoy being alone.

  • I love shopping on a Saturday after class by myself.
  • I like reading without having to text my significant other.
  • I like planning trips / vacations without consulting the other person.
  • I am focused more on school.
  • I am focused more on managing my finances.
  • I like eating by myself.
  • I have no drama. (I know not all relationships have drama but most do)

To sum it up I am more focused, driven, and getting to know myself. Oh, and money. I actually am able to save money.

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But despite that there are some stigma to being alone. People don’t like being by themselves and it makes me wonder, are they not happy with themselves? I don’t know if I love myself fully but being alone is helping me work on it. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone to just be paired off. I know a lot of people who do that and in the end they are just miserable.

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But back to the bullet points. I am really trying to manage my finances and travel more. Traveling in a relationship is hard if the other person can’t travel and so thats what I want to do as well… travel more.

Anyway, I tried not to make this a ramble fest. But what are your thoughts on relationships? Also, what are your thoughts on being alone? On cheating? Let me know.

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9 thoughts on “Tuesday Revelations

  1. I think you’re absolutely right about the whole being in a relationship thing, just to be paired off. People end up being unhappy in the long run, which ends up to things like cheating or even divorce. I think in order to be really happy in a relationship you need to be able to be happy alone or be happy with yourself first. It’s difficult for some people being alone which is why when they’re in relationships they become either completely co-dependent on their significant others, or too absorbed with the fact that they are unhappy in their relationship and they find other ways to distract themselves…like staying later at work, in turn sometimes that brings on relationships outside of the marriage like the one cutie pie mentioned. I don’t condone cheating, I believe if you’re unhappy then you should just leave, there’s no point in staying around and being with someone who assumes you are happy and completely satisfied in the marriage or relationship, when in reality you are unhappy and being unfaithful. I’m sure not all, but most people are capable of cheating. But, there are people who wouldn’t do it. Some people say that if someone cheats that doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t love you…I’m not completely sure if that’s true. In my eyes, if a person is unfaithful..they can’t love you as much as they say they do. Love hurts like a bitch sometimes, but to hurt someone purposely by cheating and lying and still love that person? Idk..

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      • Aye. That must have been annoying. Some people just can’t wrap their mind around singlehood. And generally those people are married. It’s funny because basically single people don’t understand why you’d want to get married and married people don’t understand why you’d want to be single.

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  2. There’s nothing wrong with being alone. I was married for 16 years and still felt alone…if that makes sense. I’m getting to know myself again and find out who I am now at this stage of my life. You can never be happy with someone else until you’re happy with yourself first. I hope to meet someone else again someday, but until then I’m enjoying the single life and just being myself. No drama. No unfulfilled expectations.

    Cheating…it’s a complicated matter. The scenarios are different for everyone. I feel most people cheat for emotional reasons and they manifest in the form of a physical relationship.

    Can you cheat and still love the person you’re with? That’s the million dollar question! I think sometimes the answer is yes, but the one who cheats loves themselves more…and they have to be willing to admit to their infidelity and the reasons behind it. They have to want to do the hard work to make the relationship work. If not, it’s a deal breaker. Of course the person they cheated on has to love them enough to be willing to allow them to do so, and love is not always blind when people cheat.

    People make mistakes and if you love someone you can forgive them in time. If it happens more than once, it’s a choice, not a mistake. Serial cheaters? Kick em to the curb. And don’t ever stay just because you’re scared or don’t know what to do. Life’s not meant to be lived that way.

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  3. You go girl! I think you’ve cracked the enjoying being free and single and being able to make your own choices. I think Cutie Pie has turned into a dumpling with the whole cheating malarkey because I think that if you are truly happy with someone then your head would not turn for anyone but perhaps Ryan Gosling. Someone like that doesn’t want to be alone and that’s why you are much better off than him because when you find someone it will be because it feels right rather than because you’re lonely

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  4. Cheating is a no-go for me, and an immediate termination of the relationship in my opinion. Why get involved with someone if you’re not going to settle for that one? Beats me. As for relationships in general and being alone: I am the queen of being alone and I am okay with that. As you stated, I have nobody else’s opinion to worry about, I don’t have to feel pressure to text all the time or to be on my best behaviour, and I can travel to whatever place I want to without having a discussion about it first. Having said that, I am curious to find out if there’s someone out there who’d match me, but I doubt it.

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