So I was talking to Cutie Pie on Tuesday about his girlfriend, yep Cutie Pie is cheating on his fiancé with a girl at his job, and that just made me feel sick. Sure, he’s still a hottie but I am thinking about giving him a new name… nah I’ll stick with Cutie Pie.

Anyway he asked me why I was single and I decided to tell him straight up:

  • My sexuality is like a flower blowing in the wind, one minute I am this, and the next I am that. I don’t want to label myself though.
  • I can be very picky.
  • Love is some scary shit.

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Now I have never openly said this to another person. I think I was comfortable with Cutie Pie because he told me something drastic about his personal life and I felt compelled/obligated to do the same. Then we had the following exchange.

Confessions In The Computer Lab (CITCL)

Me: “So why do men cheat?”
Cutie Pie: “I think everyone cheats men and women.”
Me: “That is true, well, why do you cheat?”
Cutie Pie: “I would stay at work late to get away from Goddess (fiance) but I hated that I felt alone, eventually Lewinksy (girlfriend) started to stay late too and one thing led to another. I was going to leave Goddess but she got pregnant.”
Me: “So you’re marrying her because she’s pregnant?
Cutie Pie: I proposed because she was pregnant but that’s not why I am marrying her.”
Me: “…Sounds fake but okay.”
Cutie Pie: *He laughs* “It’s complicated, Lewinsky and I have known each other since high school.”
Me: “That’s crazy.”

But I digress. The entire point of this blog is to point out that I realized I have been single for two years and even though I use dating apps like POF and OKc I’m not really looking and I enjoy being alone.

  • I love shopping on a Saturday after class by myself.
  • I like reading without having to text my significant other.
  • I like planning trips / vacations without consulting the other person.
  • I am focused more on school.
  • I am focused more on managing my finances.
  • I like eating by myself.
  • I have no drama. (I know not all relationships have drama but most do)

To sum it up I am more focused, driven, and getting to know myself. Oh, and money. I actually am able to save money.

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But despite that there are some stigma to being alone. People don’t like being by themselves and it makes me wonder, are they not happy with themselves? I don’t know if I love myself fully but being alone is helping me work on it. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone to just be paired off. I know a lot of people who do that and in the end they are just miserable.

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But back to the bullet points. I am really trying to manage my finances and travel more. Traveling in a relationship is hard if the other person can’t travel and so thats what I want to do as well… travel more.

Anyway, I tried not to make this a ramble fest. But what are your thoughts on relationships? Also, what are your thoughts on being alone? On cheating? Let me know.

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