Life

Memories With Mary

Before I was wiser and not as mature (chuckles) I used to smoke marijuana… a lot and I have some good memories while high. So here is a little list because today’s prompt is,The Poetry of List-Making. So here are all the things I’ve done, seen, and said while high.

  • Spent an hour trying to set snow on fire.
  • Tried to make out with my ex best friend but she clearly wasn’t interested and freaked out.
  • “Why is it called a 3 some? All of us are going to have sex, not some of us.” – Said to my grandmother.
  • Me: *As I laid in the back seat of my uncles car* Bro, you’re driving way to fucking fast and the cops are going to pull us over.
    Uncle: I’m not even driving.
    Me: Really?
    Uncle:…I have no idea
  • Getting locked in a dark walk in closet with three other people screaming that my boyfriend was a cop. I single and only 17.
  • Watched Michael do a flip off of the roof, I am pretty sure he took acid though.
  • Walked in on my two male friends having sex in the kitchen, once again I am pretty sure they were on a different drug.
  • Put googly eyes on my nana’s cross which I found hilarious even after I sobered up.
  • Me: I am your niece you’re supposed to be protecting me!
    Uncle: I know Japanese…. ichi, ni, san, yon, go, roki, nana, hachi.
    Me: Yeah… but can you fight?!?
  • Took a shower with goggles so I can see the water.
  • I accidentally lit my cigarette the wrong way, Ang laughed at me, and then did the same shit.
  • Freaked out because my sister’s dog licked the weed residue off of my jeans and I thought she was going to die.
  • I smoked weed with two people I didn’t really know, they were good friends with my ex. They decided to hot box in the car and then proceeded to drive on the highway. I was freaking the fuck out because when you’re high you’re supposed to just relax, and not drive on the highway. Jackie kept saying, “Relax, we are taking you home.” But her voice was like low and she was speaking slow. It freaked me out, I was too paranoid. I never smoked with people I barely knew again. That weed was really good though and green. I think they were purposely fucking with me since they knew I was freaking out, I had told them before hand I may get really paranoid.
  • Walked two towns over to this ice cream truck depot and bought boxes of strawberry shortcake ice cream with Ang. We had to smoke while walking to maintain our high and I kept saying it feels like 1996.
  • I was afraid to go to the deep end of the pool because I thought for sure I was going to drown.
  • Tried to lock the front door with the gate key, which is a magnet swipe thing.
  • Grilled steaks with my uncle at 2 am talking about how Florida is so separate from the world.
  • Mom: Are you high?
    Me: I wish….
    Mom: You wish?
    Me: *Paranoid mode on 19* No I don’t wish, I would never wish this on anybody.
    Mom: Are you high?
    Me: No
  • One time everything my nana did was a little too funny.
  • Spent a good hour looking for my car keys that were in my back pocket.
  • Drove 5 mph on the street because I thought for sure people outside could smell the weed on me, and I didn’t want them to call the cops.
  • Dad: Remember this phone number for me *proceeds to tell me numbers*
    Dad: Okay read me back the numbers.
    Me: What numbers?
  • I broke my bubbler and cried.
  • Made a cross joint with my uncle and he proceeded to cry and said I was his favorite niece, and was happy that my mother didn’t abort me. I ended up laughing so hard.
  • Thought the Taco Bell employee was an undercover cop and avoided eye contact.
  • Tried to find the Juwanna Mann DVD to watch,  realized I never owned the DVD, and proceeded to buy the DVD on Amazon.
  • I lost my Dutch and decided to make a water bottle pipe, I later found the Dutch right in front of me next to the remote.
    • How to make a water bottle pipe
      • Take a water bottle and cut a hole in the middle sort of.
      • Take a part a pen, place the tube in the hole, and tape it up.
      • Take the tube from a lotion pump and clean it.
      • Get a soda bottle cap and cut a hole in it.
      • Wrap the cap in aluminum foil, cut a hole in it.
      • Fill the bottle with water, but not too close to the hole.
      • Take the clean tube from the lotion pump and stick it through the bottom of the aluminum wrapped cap and make sure its all taped up nicely.
      • Place the lotion tube in the pen tube.
      • Pack it up and smoke.
      • Some people use foil, I did once, after that I just replaced the lotion pump with a thin slider from a broken pipe.
  • I thought the world was fake and tried to sleep but thought I would never wake up.
  • I ate pop tarts and chicken cutlets and my nana asked if I was high on marijuana but said it “madi-wanna” and I couldn’t stop laughing for the longest time.
  • I left Kris a voicemail singing, “My oh my, Apples and pie”

There are more moments but these are the ones that I remember instantly. I haven’t smoked weed in two years though. I get too paranoid and I am afraid of getting caught. If I were to smoke weed again it would probably be when I take my trip to Colorado. Have any of you smoked weed or done any type of drug? Let me know your stories!

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3 thoughts on “Memories With Mary

  1. I was in Rome with my significant other. We were walking down a street when a man approached us and said, “Hello, marihuana?”. Naturally, we said yes and got him to roll us a spliff. Have to say it was probably the strongest kush I’ve ever tasted. We both completely flew away. Fortunately, we knew the upcoming munchies so went into a little corner shop before heading home. My girlfriend went into the shop to buy us some crackers. My task was to stand outside and make sure we weren’t followed. I took my responsibilities very seriously. While she was in there, I was walking around and looking underneath cars for spies and the secret police. I had to keep a very angry face on to make sure that the passersby thought I was an undercover cop. When she left the shop I gave her a full report of my findings but I doubt she understood anything I mumbled…

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      • Yep. I looked under most of the cars parked around the place. I remember wishing I had one of those massive sticks with mirrors at the end that people use to find bombs. The high-paranoia is really stressful while you are experiencing it, but like with all stressful things, it makes some great stories 😀

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