Wrote this last night at around 1 am. The post previously was written a few days ago and scheduled to post at that time.
When your anxiety is bad that you can’t even move. Is this a panic attack I am having? I think it is. My brain has a million thoughts coursing in a minute and my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest. Highlight of my day was being told that I am the source of my mothers misery. This isn’t something new. My mother had me at 19 and ever since I was 9 has always maintained that my sister and I do not love her or care for her because we don’t help out enough around the house and we don’t like whatever reject boyfriend she is with. I’ve had this feeling before but it only took right now for me to realize that all of this time I’ve been having panic attacks. My home life is so fucked up I don’t even know where to begin. I live with my mother, I work with my mother, my sister treats my mother nasty and that doesn’t help the situation at all. I don’t even know what to say, at least my heart rate is slowing down and it doesn’t feel like its in my throat anymore.
Today is a new day and I am trying to make some major changes to deal with my mother.