SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN THE SHOW
17. Christy & Billie Jenkins a.k.a The Crap Sisters
These two idiots share the spot as the worst character on Charmed. They were bad. Really freaking bad. Prue would have beat their asses on the show. Seriously.
Christy – Only in 8 episodes, had no personality, and was a waste of screen time. The story itself wasn’t bad but the way they crammed it into 1 season was trash. I hate Christy so much that I do not even want to waste anymore words on her.
Billie – Is anyone really surprised that I listed her as the worst character on Charmed? Billie was annoying, whinny, bratty & essentially stole the spotlight from the Halliwell’s in season 8. Literally her entire story line was utter shit. She spends the ENTIRE season searching for Christy and in the end Billie kills her. Season 8 was the worst season thanks to Billie. The Charmed Ones spent most of it saving reckless Billie & vanquishing demons that Cole got rid of in season 3. She should have died as well. Hated Billie, the things she said, and her stupid storyline.
16. The Elder’s a.k.a Nasty Old Angels
I hated all of them, every Elder who got screen time was irritating. From the dweeb Kevin in season 5 who got bullied all the way up to Gideon. I understood the purpose of Whitelighters, but an Elder? Seriously? All they did was prance around in the heavens, bossing people around, and setting up stupid rules. Zola, although he was nice was always trying to talk to Leo when the dude was in a messed up place (After he killed Gideon but before he became an Avatar). When he died I didn’t shed a tear. Sandra although she helped more than her male counterparts she was still a bitch and too cryptic for my liking. Odin was nasty, how the hell did he become a whitelighter? He manipulated Leo into choosing the Elders over his family, was way to conservative, and very antagonistic toward the Charmed Ones. Jonnah tried to convince Victor that he and the other Elders would raise Wyatt & Chris after the Charmed Ones “died” in season 8. I honestly believed his intentions were to kill the boys, the Elders hated the idea of Leo & Piper together anyway, so I didn’t trust him. Sam was Paige’s father who abandoned her, he was a deadbeat father. The Elders were the worst, they deemed everyone bad (The Avatars) that didn’t follow the rules set, and weren’t open about anything.
15. Jenny Gordan a.k.a Miss Cockblock
Dan Gordon’s niece who literally served no point on the show. She almost got eaten in 1 episode which was great because I could care less about her character. She was a waste of a character. She added nothing to the show, season 2 would have been better without her. All she does is run around, cry, and is a little cock block. I hated that she was added onto the opening credits. Seeing her on-screen made me cringe and I hated her with a burning passion.
14. Kyle Brody a.k.a That Bastard
He was such an asshole he gets his own number. His obsession with the Avatars was unhealthy in season 7. Kyle was a bad guy full of secrets. He let his obsession with the Avatars rule his life. The first time he found out Leo was an avatar he tried to kill him, but that was AFTER he shot Paige with a dart gun, and held Phoebe at gun point. The second time he found out he tried to kill him again. Even after he found out the Avatars didn’t kill his parents he still wanted them dead. He was such an asshole. The reason why he isn’t lumped with the other men in the show is because he was the worst boyfriend compared to the other ones. I hated Kyle and the only reason why he became a Whitelighter was because he kissed ass.
13A. Miles, Jason, Leslie, Drake, Dex & Coop
Dead Guy, Hot Guy, Pushy Guy, Ex Demon Guy, Filler Guy #1, Filler Guy #2
This isn’t even all of Phoebe’s love interest’s, there are more that were in the show that I didn’t bother stating. All these guys were a waste of screen time, so I am lumping them all together. Miles was just a filler boyfriend, the guy she dated after Cole. Jason Dean completely dismissed Phoebe after finding out she was a witch, they dated for a year, but that wasn’t enough. Leslie was annoying & kept hitting on Phoebe after she turned him down. The ex demon Drake met Phoebe and only had two weeks to live after that. He fell in love with her, after two weeks (It takes me a month to figure out if I actually want to actually date someone) and he fulfilled his mission; to help Phoebe restore her faith in love again. Stupid sub-plot. Oh God, Dex was a waste a complete waste. Must I indulge on why he was a waste? Can we just agree that he was a waste? Now finally, Phoebe’s current husband, Coop who was just added onto the show to rush Phoebe to get married.
13B. Andy, Roger, Jack, Bane & Justin
Ignorant Cop, Slimeball, Cornball, Mr. Steal Yo Girl & Peter Parker
Every one of Prue’s love interest’s were trash. I get that Andy was supposed to be her first and true love, but he was arrogant, forceful & didn’t understand the word no. His death really affected Prue because she couldn’t keep a relationship after his death. Roger was Prue’s ex fiancé, he was an asshole. He was a slime that kept hitting on Phoebe. Jack was an immature asshat, although he was friendly, I thought he was too cocky for Prue. Sexy mob boss Bane Jessup was a perfect match for Prue. He accepted her Wiccan duties & the two were cute together. But the reason why he is lumped in with the rest of the idiots was because he was a jail-bird and I doubt that he could live a clean life once he got out of jail. Justin was Prue’s stalker in high school. He was a stick in the mud that drove a “I’ll sue you if you yell at me” car.
13C. Jeremy, Josh, Dan & Greg
Way before Leo, Before Leo, Not Leo & Better Than Leo
These three idiots were Piper’s love interest. Jeremy was a warlock & tried to kill the sisters. Josh was cute but he seemed so blah, he looked like a douche face. Dan was the better choice for Piper in my opinion, but he did have some flaws. First off if anyone remembers in season 2 it is stated that in Dan’s past life he was, Gordon Johnson, husband of P. Baxter, and great-grandfather of the Halliwell sisters. Now doesn’t that make him some way related to Piper? No? I am not sure, but if he is, then that is gross. I thought that he was pushy at times and wanted to marry Piper after their third date. But, I feel that if Piper would have stayed with him she would have had some normalcy. Greg had no personality and seemed boring.
13D. Shane, Glen, Nate & Richard
Possessed Dude, Adventure Dude, Cheating Dude & Addict Dude
Shane was possessed by the source, tried to kill the sisters, so I don’t like him. Glen was the best choice for Paige in my opinion. He was a mortal, he understood Paige’s duty & he kept her secret. The only reason why he is on my list is because he married that random chick. Nate was a cheating bastard. Richard was good for Paige as well but his addiction to magic proved to be problematic. He had too many issues, but gave up his powers. That didn’t matter though, Paige still dumped him.
12. Darryl Morris a.k.a Mr. Sigh
San Francisco is supposed to be open-minded yet the only cop the sisters trusted their secrets with was with a guy who was so flip floppy. One minute he cared, then he didn’t, then he didn’t want to be involved, etc. When his character was gone in season 8 I didn’t even notice. He was a pain and couldn’t handle being their connection to the mortal world. However, he had no problem reaping the benefits of the unsolved cases etc. The actor was good to look at so I tolerated him.
11. Victor Bennett a.k.a The Deadbeat
He abandoned his family, no wonder why the Halliwell sisters had a terrible taste in men. He blamed everyone for his marriage problems, Sam, magic & Penny. Instead of just sitting down and saying, “Hmm do I leave my 3 daughters OR do I try to work it out with my Wiccan wife for the sake of our family.” You see what he chose, he’s the reason why Phoebe dated a shit ton of shitty guys, Piper had low self-esteem (up until s3) & Prue was so cold-hearted.
10. Penny Halliwell a.k.a The Bitch
I didn’t like Grams. I thought she was judgmental, rude & nosey. She butted into her daughter’s life WAAAY too much and tried to rule it with an iron fist. She actually condoned her daughter giving away Paige because she was “half whitelighter”. Didn’t she used to be a fun-loving hippie? What cause her first husband died she became a stone cold bitch? Sure she had sass and it was passed to Piper but Grams was very unlikable. She only cared about her legacy.
9. Patty Halliwell a.k.a Mrs. Secret
She doesn’t deserve mother of the year. She risked her life for the “greater good” leaving her kids in the hands of her crazy mother. She gave away her daughter because she was half whitelighter & only wanted to find her so she could fulfill the Charmed Ones has the third sister.
8. Leo Wyatt a.k.a The Mooching Angel
Pipers angel boyfriend, later husband, later ex husband elder, then avatar husband and finally back to being a mortal again. He was needy, secretive, whiny, dull & acted as if he knew it all. If he was a better father then Wyatt would have never been evil. He actually abandoned his son to be a full-time Elder. He provided no financial or even good emotional support to his wife. He was a mooch who had magical version of identical crisis’. I was glad he was frozen during most of season 8. He was annoying.
7. Henry Mitchell a.k.a The Muggle
He always looked bored when he came on screen. Him & Paige’s story line was utterly rushed but I felt that as a mortal his understanding of the magical situation was good. There’s not much to say about him. I don’t overly hate him but I don’t kind of like him either. He was sort of just a filler dude for Paige to marry.
6. Cole Turner a.k.a Stalker
I liked Cole, sure he was a lying murderous bastard but he was Phoebe’s true love in my opinion. He only wanted to be with her and it wasn’t his fault he became the source. We see that he was actually willing to give away his powers in season 4 but easy manipulated Phoebe stopped him. He had a pretty shitty “redemption” arc though. I was glad to see him during s7 & wished he would have stayed longer to save Phoebe from her slew of fuckboy lovers. His struggle with good and evil was very convincing.
5. Chris Halliwell a.k.a Jan Brady
Chris had serious issues with Wyatt. Wyatt had every badass power and Chris could only move things. Coming from the future to save his brother was a good story for S5 & 6 but the character had his flaws. He was secretive, a worry wart & he didn’t listen to anybody. I loved the strained relationship he had with Leo, because Leo was primarily the reason why Chris was the way he was. He was never around for Chris, his mother was dead & his brother terrorized people with his powers. When Chris beat his ass in the cave my heart skipped a beat.
3A. Paige Matthews a.k.a The other sister
I felt bad for Paige. Always being compared to Prue, feeling second best to her sisters, and always seemed like an outsider. She is my least favorite sister because I her entrance in season 4 was so boring that she never grew on me. I always found myself questioning her loyalty. I don’t know if it was due to the fact that she was half whitelighter, but when she sided with Kyle back in season 7. She is by far the most normal ones in my opinion, not having to deal with crazy Grams and growing up a witch.
3B. Phoebe Halliwell a.k.a Me, Me, Me
Tied with Paige is Phoebe, eh she was always so dramatic in my opinion and way to self involved. She spend the last 3 seasons trying to find a man to fulfill some vision she saw and blah. She never properly transitioned from the baby to the middle child. In my opinion she still acted like childish and was very naive. In Season 3 she was by far the favorite, trying to finish college, trying to be a strong witch, but eh when she didn’t vanquish Cole like she was supposed to I wasn’t thrilled. When she got a job I was happy for her, finally she was working after being a mooch for the first 3 seasons of Charmed.
2. Prue Halliwell a.k.a Righteous One
She sacrificed a lot of her sisters like her social and love life. Although at times she could be full of herself, and bossy (like most older siblings) I honestly was not happy with her death. I felt that the sisterly bonds where way more powerful between Prue, Piper and Phoebe than Piper, Phoebe and Paige. Prue was all about being a witch and protecting the innocent, I am surprised she wasn’t made a whitelighter when she died.
1. Piper Halliwell a.k.a Sass Master
Piper’s character grew through the entire series. She was flawless and would have been a better character without Leo. I always felt he was holding her back. She transitioned from the middle to oldest sister easily. After Prue died, she held the family together, and she always dealt with the real drama of the show. Her quest for Leo during season 8 was the only thing I didn’t like about her character, maybe it was because I despised Leo. Although in seasons 1 – 2 she was the weakest link personality wise, once season 3 came on she was assertive and sassy. God I loved when Piper was sassy.
So I loved Charmed although later seasons sucked and had flip-floppy characters. But anywho, what do you guys think?
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